Confused, afraid

I think I’m confused about life in general. I worry about writing a post about a deeply held belief because I’m not sure I’ll believe in the same thing tomorrow. I worry because what I have written may be invalidated by someone else with a better argument. I feel like our beliefs and attitudes are in flux; like they are undergoing minute changes constantly as the brain receives new information and processes it. I don’t have a problem with stating my opinion with my voice, because I can defend it and process any new changes and integrate it into my argument somehow. It’s not easy to do this when you are writing or recording it;  writing is in many ways, more permanent. For someone who is constantly terrified of being wrong like me (and I quite often am wrong, let’s be honest), it can hold you back. If you are afraid of writing the wrong thing, or the slightly politically incorrect thing, or the thing that can be out argued tomorrow, then you are afraid to write. I need to learn to write. Write more honestly.  Be more genuine. Write like there is no tomorrow. Write with the knowledge that my work could be crushed with one commenter who saw something I overlooked, but do it anyway. Write unrestricted. Without feeling like a thousand, stupid things are holding me back from being completely candid.



Live and let live

I honestly think this should be everyone’s outlook on life.

You don’t like what I’m wearing? Don’t wear it yourself.

You don’t like the songs I listen to? Don’t listen to them.

You don’t like public displays of affection? Then look away.

You don’t like the idea of religion? Then don’t believe it.

You don’t like the idea of atheism? Then don’t believe it.

You don’t like homosexuality? Then don’t practice it.

Unless I am doing something that puts myself or others in any kind of danger, or am committing something that is universally recognized as immoral then let me live.

I think we forget too often, that our days on earth are numbered. To spend the limited time we have on dictating how others should live instead of living ourselves seems like a mistake to me. Have your opinions, and your beliefs and your morals and use it to live your life the way you feel right.

ps. Of course, I’m talking about opinions, beliefs and morals that are non violent here. Just to be clear, I do not mean turn a blind eye to injustice.

I don’t need feminism…Yeah, right.

“The Antyodaya and  Swadhar schemes should have ensured a decent living for the widows. But, as a survey done by the District Legal Services Authority following an initiative by NALSA ( National Legal Services Authority) found, even the little earmarked for these widows is received only once in six months. Often, the funds get siphoned off, leaving these women to sing bhajans for Rs.4 a day and beg for a meal. In death, these women are denied a decent cremation. Their dead bodies are picked up by sweepers in gunny bags, and dumped into the river, after being crudely broken into pieces.

To make remarks about why they are there, and not in Bengal, Bihar or Odisha, where they belong to, is adding insult to injury. For someone who lives in the lap of luxury, unmindful of the humiliating living conditions of these poor widows who live in shabby places devoid of water and toilets, remarks like hers smack of plain mockery”.

Read more on Vrindavan widowhood here.

This is an extreme example of the reality faced by some widows in India.

For every single person- whether man, woman or child holding one of those ‘I don’t need feminism’ posters. Maybe you do need it, maybe you don’t. If you don’t need it, great for you but there are others out there who legitimately do need it. Be proud of whatever you have or are in life, but remember that disclaiming an ideology that promotes gender equality and equity can be harmful to those who still have a long climb ahead of them to equality. It’s one of the those things that really makes me angry. Many have been hurt, imprisoned, tortured, ostracised and even killed in the process of paving a way for both men and women to share greater equality.  It is a battle some believe have been won (at least in the Western world), I won’t delve into the extremely divided politics of Western feminism here but know that it is a war many brave souls are still fighting in many parts of the world. It is a reality for them, it may not be your reality but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. Although I don’t agree with everything she says, Lorde sums up my feelings pretty well:

“I think women who say, ‘No, I’m not a feminist – I love men,’ I think that is just…You don’t know what it means. You think it means that, ‘I don’t shave under my arms, I burn my bras. Fuck men!’ How could you be so uneducated, and so unwilling to learn about something which is so important to you?”

So I would say f**k you to the ‘I don’t need feminism’ people because its easier, but I won’t. Instead of going into Hulk mode this time I would just like you to consider that even if you don’t think you need feminism, remember that you may not need it today because those who came before you fought for your rights against dangerous odds. And remember that while you may not think you need it, your fellow earthling on the other side of the world might be in dire need of it.

A debate about virginity and marriage

A blog post has gone viral about  the woman who waited till marriage to have sex and regretted the decision.

In response, another woman wrote a post offering sympathies, along with the reiteration of Christian view on virginity. She writes about how she didn’t wait, but wished she had.

They are both interesting reads and I won’t put in my opinion so those who read it can make up their own mind on where they stand. Just thought it was of importance to show both sides of the story.